Dear 25-Year-Old Rinnie

Spoiler Alert

A lot has happened over the last ten years in our world and in our country. Some of it is so shocking that it’s not worth explaining. You wouldn’t believe me anyway. Instead, I’m going to give you a heads up on important things you need to know about what is going to happen to you and the important people in your life as well as some pointers on how to handle it.

You’re going to lose some friends because your depression is going to come back and you won’t know how to deal with it. Those friends will not understand and it’s OK. They were in your life for a time and a purpose and letting them go won’t hurt as badly as you think. You will try medicine and it will not help. I’m proud of you for trying anyway and attempting to treat your symptoms with diet and exercise.

Eat as much gluten as you possibly can for the next 9 months because in October you will figure out that it makes you sick. You know all those random weird health problems you’ve had for your whole life? All of those are thanks to gluten and once you stop eating it, you’re going to feel the best you have ever felt. In the meantime, chocolate croissants, almond croissants, regular croissants all day, every day! A decent gluten free croissant does not exist.

You will find a new church and it will be everything you never knew the church should be, even though it’s clearly stated in the Bible exactly what the church should be. This church will plant itself in the poorest neighborhood in Laporte and serve those who have the deepest needs. You will be friends with the pastor, you will meet really smart people who challenge you to think more deeply. Ultimately, you will leave the church and walk away from your faith. It turns out beautifully because you meet “your people” and you are still friends with many people from that church. Don’t waste time beating yourself up about this decision but hug Cary more than usual because it will be a far more difficult adjustment for him.

Cary is going to get in ridiculously good shape and be able to lift more weight than you can possibly imagine right now. I’m not joking. He’s so sexy that his customers at AT&T can’t keep their hands off him. I mean that literally. He came home a couple months ago and said, “You’re never going to let me live this down but…I’m so tired of being groped and hit on.” I just laughed and told him, “You’re just asking for it dressed like that!” This joke probably doesn’t make sense to you right now. I really don’t want to get into why it’s both funny and not funny.

You and Cary are going to try and have a baby and it will be REALLY fun for like 2 years. Then you will find out that unexplained infertility is a thing and that doctors really don’t know anything about women’s bodies. They will offer IVF and you and Cary will make the decision that kids are simply not part of your plan. Your relationship will blossom even more. While I’m on the subject, I’m laughing thinking of how much you think you love him right now. You know how married people will say “I love them more today than I ever have!” and you think it’s bullshit? It’s not. I never thought loving a person this much was possible.

I almost forgot! You’re going to gain weight. The good news is that your self esteem is so high (thanks to both mom and dad) you really won’t notice or care. Eventually, you decide to lift weights with Cary and you’re good at it. The weight comes off, you figure out how to eat what makes your body feel best. I would tell you to try and figure out how to do this faster but we learned so much about loving ourself during that process I think it’s for the best to stay on course.

Cary will reconnect with a friend from high school and this will be the person you two can depend on for anything. I know this sounds weird but you will be part of an organization that tells dick jokes to raise money for local charities. LOTS of money for local charities. That friend is the president of the organization.
He will always be in your corner, even when you disagree and because you are very similar people, that might happen more than you would like. He will introduce you to some of the best people you have ever known. Just….he’s going to interrupt you a lot and talk over you. Cut that shit off early! We’re still working on it.

You will become a nationally certified interpreter but more importantly, you will LOVE your career. Your colleagues will be amazing and help you grow. Plus, ASL will open doors to other opportunities like working access at music festivals. Just this last August you told Perry Farrell that he couldn’t come into the Deaf and Hard of Hearing section at Lollapalooza and he listened! (Perry Farrell is the guy from Jane’s Addiction and he’s like the Mayor of Lolla or something).

I could go on and on but these are the highlights. Just one more thing…

This is your last birthday with your mom, kiddo. You’ve already decided to stop working to spend time with her while she is still around. She was right when she said that Kindle would be the last birthday gift she ever gave you. But, oh the intangible gifts she supplied you are worth so much more than the money she spent on the fanciest E-reader on the market. She will die in May after you tell her that it’s OK to go. I think we did everything right with mom in the end.
But, be nicer to daddy. He knows you love him but…just be nicer.
Mom’s death will be the worst thing that has ever happened in your entire life. Ten years later it will still be the worst thing that has ever happened in your entire life and for that we should be incredibly grateful.

The next ten years are full of love and heartache, joy and pain.

Even if you ignore every suggestion, the other side of 35 is beautiful.